I felt so blessed the day I finally learned how to grieve. This unnatural culture that I have journeyed through knows way too little about it. It’s not done in three days (…off from work for close relatives only). It’s not done neatly & discreetly, away from everyone in shame. It’s not something you keep to & process by yourself.
In the beginning of the book, “Of Water and The Spirit,” the author tells about their grandfather’s passing. Their Grandfather was a holy person. Much grieving was to be expected. The author, Patrice Some, had two people in his village assigned to live by his side for two weeks. The understanding was that at any moment in a fit of grief, one may throw themselves on the ground and they need to be picked up and taken care of. Culturally, they hold space for that level of grieving.
In my own life I have noticed how much longer it takes to heal from grieving when there is no room, space, or time given to grieve properly. It is an undeniable process & ignoring it does not rule out the need for it.
To me, grieving is a reminder of how much you loved the one who passed. There are no deadlines to when this is finished, truthfully. I really do not subscribe to a western idea of afterlife. I have been in close touch with my Nana who left this plane in 1966. I get sporadic visits from my dog I grew up with. As a medium, there is no telling who will drop by. But please do not let that sound scary. My entourage are some powerful Ancestors who are completely invested in my success, as are yours. Those that came before you are watching over you in the very same way.